I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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