i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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