That's when you crack a 10am beer
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize