That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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