i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize