You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm bleeding and have questions
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
