the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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