I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
