You surviving the open bar?
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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