do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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