Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
