We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
