Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
