i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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