she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
