I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
