I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
