Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
