If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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