coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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