I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
