on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize