An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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