Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
