You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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