I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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