opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
