I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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