sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
