Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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