only if we run a train.
done.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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