i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
