I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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