fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
