...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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