I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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