nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
