Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
