I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
