does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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