im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
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Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
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Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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