My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
