In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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