i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
lol hangovers are for mortals.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
