I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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