Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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