You're completely useless in the revolution.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
wow bdsm is so cute
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
