"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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