Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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