He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
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It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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