It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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