I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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