Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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