aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
