Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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