I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
